I shall like to read from you

Latest spam over the transom. I’ve highlighted the most incomprehensible sentence, if you can call it that.

Hello ! You probably will be very much surprised to my letter.
And where I could find your electronic address. One of these days I
was registered a dating site . And today to me from him there
has come the reference with your address. In it it was spoken, that we
with you harmonious pair. And I have decided to write to you this
letter. My name Michelle, me of 27 years. My growth of 170 sm, my
weight of 53 kg. I live in Russia, in city Zvenigovo. I like to travel
various places. I was in such countries of Europe, as Finland, Poland,
Latvia. I traveled as the tourist. You should not have excitement be
relative that we not beside.
I am woman, that if I shall like man for
a meeting i shall reach him. Besides in our days it is not a problem
to travel. I don’t worry about it and I can do it, it is possible to
have relations with the person of other part of the world. It is very
interesting – other culture, thinking, traditions i like new places.
Probably you can learn Russian woman. I hope you will not be
frightened also we shall continue our acquaintance? I the quiet,
romantic girl. I want to meet in the life the present love. In my
opinion, At all a variety of nationalities occupying our planet. In
the world there is that unique person, With which I can find happiness
and family rest. My dream, it to create family, To leave in marriage
for remarkable the man, to give birth to children. And together with
the favourite person To aspire to bring up ours with it children that
they became the most remarkable people. Actually I very modest girls
and vulnerable. To me to not like, when people to face speak one, And
behind a back another is completely. And I think, that from the very
beginning of ours with you of acquaintance. We should be fair with
each other. I have no enclosed picture of me in this letter. I shall
send you a picture of me in the following letter.

If you are interested, write to my e mail: [redacted]

And you as well as I want to meet the present love in the life. That I
think to us with you it is necessary to begin ours with you
acquaintance. Who knows, it is possible we are really harmonious with
you. Also we shall create the best in the world a pair. I hope I shall
not stay without your attention. I wait for your answer, Michelle.

Leta says that this would be a great cold reading exercise at auditions. It’s less intelligible than “Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.”

Mishmash

The street name signs in Fairfax City constitute the most egregious mess of colors and styles in the metropolitan area.

generic black and whiteThe smaller intersections are marked with generic black on white signs, with or without block numbers. These simple, functional signs are similar to those used in Arlington County.

plain blueconventional overheadUp on the busier thoroughfares, the signs switch to white on blue. Most use a readable but pedestrian all-caps sans serif. Overhead signs use “Freeway Gothic” in mixed case.

blue and green There is a pinched condensed font that suggests credits on a movie poster. (Unfortunately, an example or two of this developer-friendly sign can be found in Reston, too.) The contrast with the white on green is particularly ugly.

olde timeyold and newIntersections in the old town center use signs with a scrolled border and a decorated serif, but recent traffic re-engineering is replacing these with the ordinary overheads.

one-off This example, missing the street type and the block numbers, appears to be a one-off. Notice the brackets for the crossing sign for University Drive, which is missing.

blue and white You can even find a few examples of this jaunty mixed-case sans serif, shown here with an afterthought black and white locator.

nouveau riche This blue-bronze sign for a new subdivision of starter McMansions is especially galling.

too muchpileupBut the worst specimens accrue to the recent dual-designation within the city of U.S. Route 50, which follows Arlington Boulevard, Lee Highway, and Main Street, as “Fairfax Boulevard.” This led to the creation of these red-white-and-blue decorative contraptions. Notice the oops-addition of a sign for Blake Lane, which was extended to this intersection about 20 years ago.

retrofitMinor intersections were fitted with smaller versions of the ungainly, squareish Fairfax Boulevard signs.

Related: My pedantic nuthatch posts from ’05 and ’06 on street name signs in Reston, Fairfax County, Lake Barcroft, Alexandria, Arlington, Bethesda, and the District.

A mystery: 2

In a proper name that includes a numerical designation, when do we (or most of us) pronounce the name as a cardinal and when do we use an ordinal? For instance, we read Elizabeth II as “Elizabeth the second” but Super Bowl II as “Super Bowl two.” Is the distinction just people vs. everything else? Don’t names of ships sometimes use ordinals and sometimes cardinals? How about horses, like Canonero II?

(Prompted by a momentary misreading of Discoverer I as “Discoverer the first” [Only Revolutions, p. 291S.] Conversely, our friend David refers to Shakepeare’s best-known history play as “Henry five.”)

Contemporary American Theater Festival 2008: 2

The completion of Richard Dresser’s Happiness trilogy, A View of the Harbor, comes as somewhat of a surprise. The first two parts of the cycle, Augusta and The Pursuit of Happiness explored the worlds of the working and middle classes, respectively, while the new play completes the plan by moving on to the upper classes. But rather than the caustic comedy and steely satire that is Dresser’s wont, this play is a drama about the decline of an old family of power and wealth and the establishment of a new order. The result is a crepuscular piece that suggests Eugene O’Neill more than A.R. Gurney.

The festival’s centerpiece production, in the expansive Frank Center Stage, is The Overwhelming by J.T. Rogers. Viewers of the film Hotel Rwanda or readers of Jared Diamond’s Collapse will be familiar with the events of April, 1994 in this small alpine African country of 10 million souls, but many Americans remain unacquainted with the horrific killings that took place then. Tensions between the two major ethno-political groups of the country and surrounding region, the Hutu and the Tutsi, boiled over into assassination and then genocidal violence, with the massacre of 800,000 people, primarily Tutsi.

The play takes place in the run-up to the killings. Our lens on this world is the American family of Jack Exley (a struggling academic), his second wife Linda White-Keeler (a magazine journalist), and Jack’s disaffected son Geoffrey. Perhaps too conveniently, each of them develops friendships with Rwandans from different sides of the conflict: Jack with a doctor with ties to Tutsi-associated RPF rebels, Linda with a hardline Hutu government minister (the frightening David Emerson Toney), and Geoffrey with average-Joe Gérard (the strong Maduka Steady). Also too pat, the publish-or-perish tenure decision hanging over Jack’s head is a weak reason for him to stay in the country when it becomes clear that something dangerous is going to happen.

Upon hearing the rumbles of forthcoming violence, Jack demands action from the U.S. embassy staff. He is met with pragmatic indifference from Woolsey (Michael Goodwin), who points out how few Americans there are in the country and how unimportant this small country “at the edge of the world” is to U.S. interests. He asserts that effective foreign policy is never based on “doing the right thing.”

The theme of individual action in the face of seemingly overwhelming historical forces is elaborated upon in the person of Jack. In an climax that, unfortunately, feels forced and rushed, Jack must choose which one of two people to protect against the killings. However, the ultimate bloodshed that pulls the play’s narrative toward its conclusion is more alluded to and suggested than actually depicted (and, as in the case of the film, this may be the more powerful choice).

Technically, the play is a masterful sprawl of language and sound, with a cast of more than a dozen speaking four languages on stage (including Kinyarwanda) along with several English dialects. Kudos to dialects coach Kirsten Trump and sound designer Todd Campbell, who provides energetic, sometimes frightening, drumming as transition material across scenes.

  • Contemporary American Theater Festival at Shepherd University, Shepherdstown, W.Va.
  • A View of the Harbor, by Richard Dresser, directed by Charles Towers
  • The Overwhelming, by J.T. Rogers, directed by Ed Herendeen

Contemporary American Theater Festival 2008: 1

Neil LaBute breaks his pattern of writing for younger characters with Wrecks, a monologue for a businessman of late middle age, executed with skill by Kurt Zischke. We the audience are seated in the white box performance space of Shepherd University’s new Center for Contemporary Arts, which has been outfitted as a mortuary chapel, complete with (uncomfortable) sofas and armchairs for us. Edward Carr (Zischke) has stepped away from the line of mourners who have come to express their good wishes for the passing of Carr’s wife Mary Josephine. As he speaks to us, he reveals private thoughts that he will not, cannot express in public—a LaBute hallmark. LaBute’s final plot twist is less effective than his writing for Edward when he rages against the capricious forces of disease and death and our powerlessness against them.

The key element missing from Greg Kotis’s one-act Pig Farm is a musical score. Kotis, who collaborated with Mark Hollman on the satirical economics morality play Urinetown, the Musical, is here working solo in a close-by field. Tom and Tina run a pig farm along with their hired hand Tim. Times being hard, the farm is operating at overcapacity and Tom has resorted to extramural means to dispose of the porcine effluent. Trouble is, Teddy (Anderson Matthews, who can bluster and menace at the same time), a pistol-packing government inspector with a taste for the romantic agrarian life, has his own plans for Tom’s setup. What begins as kitchen sink drama slides into Guignolesque mayhem, with characters that won’t die (they keep popping up to sing reprises to their death arias) and a quantity of stage blood worthy of Martin McDonagh. This is a play that draws its comedy from our sardonic “yeah, right” reaction to a character’s claim that the Environmental Protection Agency is up to the task of guarding us against pollution by “fecal sludge.”

More representational is Stick Fly by Lydia R. Diamond, a lovely multithreaded piece that takes place at the Martha’s Vineyard summer house of the LeVays, an upper middle-class African-American family. Diamond explores themes of race, class, and most importantly, the expectations that a family places on its children to succeed—and in turn, that children place on their parents for recognition. Oldest son Flip has brought his girlfriend, who is white, home to meet the family, but he may have had an easier time of it than youngest son Kent, who has also brought his significant other to meet the folks. Multiply degreed Kent is still struggling to find his vocation, while his fiancée Taylor (the flexible Tijuana T. Ricks) brings more baggage to the home than just what will fit in the trunk. In a commonplace trope, Kent has an autobiographical novel that he is preparing for publication, and he needs to present the work to his family—but fortunately the play doesn’t bog down over this point. The place is presided over by the amiable but emotionally distant Dr. Joseph LeVay (the polished David Emerson Toney), a neurosurgeon; but the show-stealer is Joniece Abbott-Pratt as Cheryl, daughter of the housekeeper who has unfinished business with the LeVays.

The play is built from many short (sometimes simultaneous) scenes that take place in three separate rooms of the summer house. What’s most impressive technically is how director Liesl Tommy has worked with her lighting designer Colin K. Bills and the cast to isolate a character at the end of a scene with light, to allow the character to silently reflect on the scene that has just taken place, while the next scene is being prepared elsewhere. All this activity is taking place in the friendly confines of the Studio Theater’s black box. Indeed, at one point, as far as I can tell, a series of cues was built to follow a character’s movement through the house without movable lighting instruments.

  • Contemporary American Theater Festival at Shepherd University, Shepherdstown, W.Va.
  • Wrecks, by Neil LaBute, directed by Ed Herendeen
  • Pig Farm, by Greg Kotis, directed by Ed Herendeen
  • Stick Fly, by Lydia R. Diamond, directed by Liesl Tommy

Some definitions

EXTIRPATE
Verb applied only to heresies and corns.
FACE
The mirror of the soul. So some people must have very ugly souls.
INSTRUMENT
If it has been used to commit a crime, it is always “blunt,” unless it happens to be sharp.
LIGHT
Always say: “fiat lux” when a candle is lighted.
TOYS
Should always be educational.
—Gustave Flaubert, “The Dictionary of Received Ideas,” ed. and trans. by Robert Baldick and A.J. Krailsheimer

Not ready for prime time

The most peculiar thing about the new search engine at cuil.com is the random images that are presented next to returned search results. These images are presented on the first two results pages for my name, next to summaries of pages that belong to me.

Who is this guy?

I may be middle-aged, but I’m better preserved than this.

Or who, for the love of Michael J. Fox, is this guy?

It’s been a while since I’ve been called a horse’s whatsis.

Cash for Clunkers

Alan Blinder proposes an economic stimulus measure that’s good for the environment as well: subsidized repurchases of aging, inefficient cars and trucks, targeted to the low-income households that need the money the most.

…a fourth possible goal. By pulling millions of old cars off the road, Cash for Clunkers would stimulate the demand for new cars as people trade up. It need hardly be pointed out that our ailing auto industry, like our ailing economy, could use a shot in the arm right now. Scrapping two million or more clunkers a year should help.

Equus

BRUCE: In my life I’m not going to be afraid to blind the horses, Prudence.

PRUDENCE: You ought to become a veterinarian.

BRUCE (very offended): You’ve missed the metaphor.

PRUDENCE: I haven’t missed the metaphor. I made a joke.

BRUCE: You just totally missed the metaphor. I could never love someone who missed the metaphor.

—Christopher Durang, Beyond Therapy, I:i

Turn in your yogurt cups

Robert Siegel surveys the state of recycling programs in three suburban D.C. counties. He makes a good point about the “stickiness” of programs and what waste they accept—one that should be obvious, I suppose.

County Executive Isiah Leggett announced that Montgomery was going to begin accepting a wider range of plastics at the curb, including tubs and lids. Until recently, the county only accepted plastic bottles.

Montgomery County’s recycling center manager, Tom Kusterer, told me that until a few months ago, there was no market for those types of recycled plastics, but they’ve recently found clients who will buy the plastic to turn it into plastic lumber, plastic pallets and plastic flower pots.

Here’s a catch with recycling: Once a county or a city decides to accept, say, plastic tubs and lids, it’s pretty hard to tell people two years later—sorry there’s no more market for that stuff. So these decisions tend to be for keeps.

At the park: 20

Earlier this month we made our last field trip to monitor nest boxes. The raspberries were ripening, the Typha was eyeball-height, the dodder was showing its bright orange, and Indigo Buntings were singing in the mapletops.

It was a good year for the ducks, with an especially impressive increase in activity from the Wood Ducks. We fledged 97 woodies, a 14-year high. The hoodies did well, too, with 4 successful nests. The area along Lower Barnyard Run was the most intensively used (as it has been for several years), with double clutches in three of the boxes.

A few years ago I started recording our data with Cornell, in what is now the NestWatch program. This year they’ve opened up outside access to the data, at least a little bit. So here’s a map with our summary data.

We also discussed plans for maintenance and box relocation with Park staffer Dave Lawlor. Since construction for the wetland restoration project is now planned for summer, 2009, we’re not going to be doing much work before then—just replacement of a couple of worn-out boxes.